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Friday, 22 April 2011

Poo Song

The internet is a truly wonderful facility. I am now connected thro' the web to millions of people and speak to at least four of them.

However the real breakthrough is the profusion of apps (applications to those of us who wrote with slate and chalk).

Many of these little Java wonders are frivolous, inconsequential and, in some instances, downright dangerous (e.g. "Jamie's 20 minute meals" or Duncan's " Masonic Ritual "). Others like "The Beer Expert" or "Pocket Salsa" are indispensable to the modern "can do" man or woman on the move, moving upwards.

However, they all pale in comparison to the app my mate Pete introduced me to. As yet, it's not  available on the mobile. 

It's the Domestos "Flush Tracker". No matter where your smallest room in the house is you can track the journey of your efforts from start to finish. It's GoogleMaps for turds, SatNavs for number two's.

One frightening fact is that my poo travels faster in the sewer than I do driving my car. I know - I'm a shit driver.

The possibilities are limitless. A poo race between towns. Towns, with similar poo speeds could be twinned. A poo Olympics.  Interstate poo wars. The system could be personalised. I could go on. I won't.

Instead I urge you to visit the site now, or after a visit to that smallest room, at

The future's brown, the future's Domestos. 


Steve said...

"One frightening fact is that my poo travels faster in the sewer than I do driving my car. I know - I'm a shit driver." Loving the poo pun. And loving the service you have so wonderfully endorsed here. I think they should call it ShitNav. And you're right. It could lead to great inter-town competitions up and down the country. I mean, who wants to play poosticks when you can bet on your own poo? This service could only be improved by the option to have a poo-cam.

Tenon_Saw said...

Goodness me, what an App!

Marginalia said...

Dear TS, I know. Are there no limits to man's ingenuity and constant questing?

Marginalia said...

Dear Steve, I'm as excited about this new service as you are.

A poo cam is a great idea - I'll mention it to Domestos I'm sure they'll love the idea as much we do!

I do think they chickened out calling their app "Flush tracker" so I'm also forwarding your suggestion which is great.

P.S. Just thought there might be some confusion here since I think most people use "Shit" as an adjective to describe the performance of their SatNav,