Poo Song

The internet is a truly wonderful facility. I am now connected thro' the web to millions of people and speak to at least four of them.

However the real breakthrough is the profusion of apps (applications to those of us who wrote with slate and chalk).

Many of these little Java wonders are frivolous, inconsequential and, in some instances, downright dangerous (e.g. "Jamie's 20 minute meals" or Duncan's " Masonic Ritual "). Others like "The Beer Expert" or "Pocket Salsa" are indispensable to the modern "can do" man or woman on the move, moving upwards.

However, they all pale in comparison to the app my mate Pete introduced me to. As yet, it's not  available on the mobile. 

It's the Domestos "Flush Tracker". No matter where your smallest room in the house is you can track the journey of your efforts from start to finish. It's GoogleMaps for turds, SatNavs for number two's.

One frightening fact is that my poo travels faster in the sewer than I do driving my car. I know - I'm a shit driver.

The possibilities are limitless. A poo race between towns. Towns, with similar poo speeds could be twinned. A poo Olympics.  Interstate poo wars. The system could be personalised. I could go on. I won't.

Instead I urge you to visit the site now, or after a visit to that smallest room, at http://www.flushtracker.com/index.php?page=start&ln=uk.

The future's brown, the future's Domestos.