"Oh fuck it, just leave."

An ex girlfriend of mine in early 1971 said I hadn't lived up to her expectations. No recount, not court appeal I just packed my possessions and found myself a one bedroom attic in trendy Flask Walk, Hampstead.

All this took place before decimalisation and us joining the EU in 1973. I was there in Parliament Square in 1973 cheering on the "Joiners" and I think I voted join. I must have voted "Yes" when in 1975 Harold Wilson held a referendum.

And over the years I've not bothered too much about the European question. I wasn't too exercised about bent bananas or  competition laws which we agreed to. I thought on balance we should have stayed in the ERM and stared out the speculators. I also thought we should have joined the Euro and given our, what appears to me, woefully uncompetitive industries a "face up or fail" choice.

I'm not sure that the Tory's own split on the EU really reflects that of the UK. What was clear was that Nigel Forage and his anti- EU stance was toxic for the Tories and fatally Cameron thought he could kill off that threat and the cancer in the Tories. It's history.

Here we are a couple of months from exit and it looks like we're going to cast off  from Europe. We need to move forward, there are so many matters that need addressing but with Brexit clouding all our minds we can't. I hate to say it but if we get past the 31 of October with no deal at least we can move on.

Civil service brains and energies can focus on housing, inequality, transport, foreign policy etc. etc.  Once industry has accepted no deal  maybe they'll spend their efforts on rebuilding business.

That's on the positive side, which is very powerful. Yet.... where does that leave us trading with other counties? Do you know? I frankly find the idea of doing a trade deal with the US quite worrying. Economically we are the size of California: I can't see us besting the US, can you?  Of concern is whether we have the skills and ability to negotiate sensible deals. As many have pointed out we haven't had to do that since the last century.

It's worrying that we might find ourselves afloat in turbulent trade and economic currents with no friends except the US. What would we have to sign away to shelter under the wings of that bald(ing) eagle.

More positively we may be able to reinvent ourselves - herald in the third industrial revolution without much industry using just our cunning, intellect and ability to muddle thorough - although we appear to have recently lost that skill.