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Thursday, 13 March 2014

The Alamo



My golly gosh, I'm so darn pleased with myself. Do you want to know why? I'm going to tell you anyway.

This winter has not been kind to my allotment, what with floods, tornadoes and all. In fact, I was reluctant to visit place, for fear of finding the site obliterated.

However, steeling myself, putting on galoshes and arming myself with a Very pistol - just in case, I made my way down to my plot.

It wasn't as bad as I had feared, however the raised beds were in a bad way. The wood fencing supporting the beds had collapsed. I wasn't surprised, they didn't look too good before this winter's onslaught. I thought I'd have to do away with them, dig up the grass path and start again.

At home we have an open fire in the front room. There’s nothing the missus and I like doing more than sinking into the settee  in front of a roaring fire, tums full of food and a glass of wine in hand nodding off as we watch Midsumer Murders. The thing is coal’s expensive especially the sort we have to burn – smokeless which has had all the smoke taken out. Clever that – I suppose they have a very powerful vacuum cleaner to suck out the smoke…Anyway, to save on costs I try to get wood to burn instead. In the past of local wood turner has provided us with loads of odds and sods, but he’s not so reliable these days.

On the allotment site, local tree surgeons dump their chippings and occasionally logs from their tree felling. I use the chippings a lot, they make a lovely covering for the paths and potting up areas, but I hadn’t taken much notice of the cut tree trunks and branches. However, what with the price of coal and the unreliability of my wood supply I’ve taken more interest in the blandishments of a felled tree or two. 

With a wheel barrow I’d trundle down to where the logs were and pick suitably sized branches to cut up into manageable fire logs. And then it struck me. The large logs would be fantastic to rebuild my shattered raised beds.

I tell you, it was all there, how I was going to do it, a Masterplan. Within no time I had built a half scale replica of the Alamo. It looks tremendous (see pic). 

I didn’t stop there. Oh no. Other beds are now surrounded by logs, turning my little piece of land into something My Little Pony would feel at home in. All it needs are a few bright plants poking out in between the logs and I’ll be featured on "Gardener’s World" or in “The People’s Friend”. 

I've even inspired others. Lots of patches of soil and plants are now surrounded by logs! 

Such creativity-I'm wasted just collecting my pension.

"Davy, Davy Crockett. King of the wild country!"

6 comments:

Steve said...

All you've done is make yourself a bigger target for the injuns...

Bojo said...

I now realise that Bob Crowe was a really good bloke PS and Tony Benn too

Jack the Hat said...

You are just like me. Help yourself now and then to some spare gear and save yourself a few pennies.

Anonymous said...

You will be ok next time the riots come and floods wreak havoc

Anonymous said...

You will be ok next time the riots come and floods wreak havoc

Anonymous said...

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa
He cuts down trees...
He's a lumberjack...