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Thursday, 27 June 2013

Hang 'em High

Were you like me totally engrossed in Channel 4's "The Man with the 10st Testicles"? What a way to start the week. Here was this guy, Wesley Warren, who sounded quite normal and nice but had between his legs the most gargantuan goolies.

Honestly, I wasn't sure that it wasn't a put on. I mean there he was walking down the street transporting his gonads in a wheel barrow, or swinging them, to give him that little extra push, as he tried to get up a slight incline. It was so unreal.

I was fascinated, I was repulsed, I was in disbelief. How can anyone go around like that. My disbelief grew when I learnt that because he was on social security - he'd lost his job - he could only get free medical treatment in his home state of Nevada.

I kinda think that if you were in need of any operation other than the removal of extra large balls you could find it in Nevada. However, since the state of Nevada ain't got no balls surgeons, our man was left hanging. There were docs elsewhere in the US of A who could do the business, cut our man down to size, take that heavy load and lay it down, but they charged an arm and a leg, which our man did not have - as he was unemployed on account of having lost his job 'cause his balls were too big and ugly.

Our main man, he tried to raise money on the net so he could approach some out of state dude who could cut him some slack. What happened? Once the Inland Revenue Service got wind of his fund raisin' scheme, they took all the money he raised and, on top of it all, stopped his social.

 I say that's mean and that's cruel, but that's what it's like in the land of the free. If you're rich and look like Kim  Kardashian with knockers to match you can have them enlarged, downsized, reshaped or inverted. If you're black, poor, with a life threatening complaint you can go hang.

Finally, some Californian medic who knew all about balls and those bits and bobs that hang down and occasionally embarrass us  men, was willing to do the necessary. Which involved 6 surgeons, 20 nurses and $300k plus.

The sheer joy the surgeon evinced, after cutting away a mountain of whale blubber to discover that Wesley's tackle was still intact, if rather unfit for purpose, was worth the ticket price. It took two days before our hero regained consciousness - but he pulled through bollock naked and lighter by about 30%.

That programme raised so many questions. How did the growth get so large? Why was nothing done earlier? What the fuck is America all about?

Why do so  many Americans put up with their plight?  Maybe the great unwashed of America should follow those they encourage in Syria, Egypt, Libya etc, etc and tell their government "Enough, is enough."

Enough of bailing out the wealthy. Enough of impoverishing the rednecks, the blue collars, the blacks, Hispanics and the millions of Americans who swear allegiance to a political elite that doesn't give a toss - except once in awhile when they need their meal ticket to Washington or the State capital.

And where does it leave us. Less stark the contrast maybe, more gentile. Horrors of horrors, a man like Ian Brady is given a platform to whinge on about his, supposed, mistreatment, yet maladministration, malfeasance and sheer criminal practice gets a shrug of the shoulders and no fucker is to blame! The innocent suffer, get spied on, lied to and blamed.

We ain't got the balls. Our leaders are castrated and their shrill voices bleat out platitudes, excuses and mantras. We need a fucking revolution and bollocks to the elites, the oligarchs, the power brokers, the trend setters, the media moguls and all who think they have more right to the fruits of this earth than anyone else.

Where's fuckin' Superman when you need him?


Steve said...

Proof positive if it were needed that Buster Gonad would not have made it in America.

Anonymous said...

Language, language....

Did you catch your privates in your zipper before writing this?

Bojo said...

Speaking as a well endowed leader, I assure you that I do have the cojones to lead this city, this country etc etc

jack the Hat said...

Ian Brady is one weird fucker. Lucky for him he is staying in the loony bin. Would not last five minutes in a prison.

Marginalia said...

Dear Steve, very funny!

Dear Anon, no just got worked up after seeing George Osborne on telly looking like a total prick!

Dear Bojo we know. Saw your tackle when you were hanging suspended over the Thames last year. Nothing to write home about though.

Dear JtH. Agree on both counts.

JoJo said...

Set up a petition on the No 10 site and a fucking revolution will be arranged if you get enough signatories.

Marginalia said...

Dear JoJo, an excellent idea. Can I also list those who'll lose their heads when the revolution takes place.