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Monday, 11 February 2013

The Pope Must Die(t)

When I heard that Pope "What's his name" is to resign, I immediately felt sorry for the guy. I mean, Pope's aren't meant to resign, step down or take early retirement. It's bad enough having to face the Curie as the only Pope in the last 600 years leaving the post alive, but what about a pension?

I bet there's no contributory Vatican pension pot for the Pope. Well, there wouldn't be one would there. There was, until today, no need for one. Pope's didn't get the gold watch or the ecclesiastical equivalent  - they died in post.

You would never see a Pope queuing up at the Papal Post Office to cash in his pension Giro. He wouldn't have a Roman Freedom Pass, or a Winter Fuel Allowance. Now all that's changed. But what's he to do?

I suspect there's likely to be a collection plate passed round at the last service he conducts; that should provide quite a nice tidy sum. It wouldn't surprise me if all the ambassadors to the Papal Court are faxing home asking their Governments to chip in for a suitable farewell gift. Failing that he'll have to fall back on the State.

I don't know what is the going rate for a single person's pension in Italy, but I doubt if it'll keep him in sanctified underwear and blessed jimjams. He could, of course, throw himself on the mercies of some closed order or two. A small room in some out of the way monastery may not be perfect but I suppose beggars can't be choosers. Alternatively he could return to Germany, write his memoires and live off the royalties. However, that's probably not allowed since I suspect any dosh made that way would go straight into the Papal coffers.

No, this is likely to be a rum deal and no mistake. All the cameras of the world will be on the Vatican's front door as the ex- Pope, the emeritus Pontiff, leaves with a small suitcase and his iPad.

He will no doubt be tweeting about all this and wondering whether it would not have been better to have hung on a little longer until his Maker had found a spare room in that Mansion with many rooms.  

11 comments:

Steve said...

I bet he's converting to Buddhism.

Anonymous said...

Typical public sector worker - bailing out before the normal retirement age

King William said...

Nothing like a good old piece of Pope bashing!

God Save the Queen!

gregg smith said...

After Benedict didn't give the required one month's notice God has announced that as no one, not even the Pontiff, has respect for the rules so he too is going to 'call time on the whole creation thing'.

Will anyone notice?

Anonymous said...

You take the piss out of his holiness and you will regret it. Eternity in hell awaits you my friend.

Marginalia said...

Dear Steve, no, he's off to a monastery according to the latest from Radio Holy See.

Dear Anon, you've strange ideas about the public sector.

Dear KW, ah the glorious revolution. Nothing like one to get the blood going.

Dear Gregg, you're not in HR by any chance.

Dear Anon 2. Sorry, I don't believe in Hell - just a blank nothingness.

Pontiff said...

Update

The bastard upstairs has given me an actuarially reduced pension.

Enough to make me become a Protestant and get laid.

Marginalia said...

Dear Holy See, no chance of o redundancy package then?

Pontiff said...

How can someone who is infallible be judged to be redundant?

Marginalia said...

Dear your Holiness,we're getting into "angels on a pinhead" territory.

Pontiff said...

You believe in angels?