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Tuesday, 8 January 2013

The Oxford Murders

"Anal gland emptying" - £10.76 (including VAT).

The latest expense incurred as a result of our near neurotic concern for our cats.

We did not witness  the procedure this time; an earlier occasion was so traumatic that the vet suggested we leave the room before she squeezed the little bugger's scent glands in his bum. Also, it's well known that cats object to anyone but trained medical staff from witnessing such a delicate procedure.

This time the little money pit went to the vet's to have his teeth checked out. Last week his breath smelled something rotten and we feared it was because of a bad tooth.  A quick inspection of the mutt's mouth reassured us that his gnashers were intact, and my wallet wouldn't be the £200 lighter. We learnt later that it was the remains of an especially noxious tin of cat food that was the cause.

Not that our 5 mins of vet time saw much change from £60. But he's worth it.

Tonight was "Lewis" a new, and sadly, last series of this son of Morse. It's the sort of programme that stirs every middle class educated sensibility in one's body. The shots of the Oxford colleges, the immaculate greens and houses housing well scrubbed and well turned out young mums with their nannied toddlers.

Tonight's story began in its usual slow burn way. Mum alone with baby, dad,  a promising post grad, on his way, we think, to be with his wife. But no, he has a double life and that occasioned his death - murder most delicate. I settled down to two hours of bliss.

Lots of smart, middle class totty, well known actors playing their usual stereotypical roles and Rebecca Front, Oxford's finest Mother Hen to Lewis and Hathaway. And a second murder. A very attractive female post grad struck down in broad daylight. Heaven.

Except at 10 pm the whole thing stopped. Not just a break, so we could have the sodding "News at Ten"; I have to wait 'til next Monday to learn what's happened. I. of course, have worked out who the villain is, using my Holmes like powers of detection and deduction. Only to be proved completely off beam next week.

Anyway there's always "Midsomer Murders" on Wednesday. That can't be held over for more than one week. Can it?


Anonymous said...

Doesn't compare to Nigel Havers on Corrie. What a bounder!

Steve said...

Anal gland emptying? I like to do that DIY style at work.

Marginalia said...

Dear Anon. What doesn't compare to NH. Anal gland emptying or the victim in Lewis?

Dear Steve. I can see why one of your new year's resolutions is a new job.

Bojo said...

Almost fell of my chair when I read the first line. Disappointed that rest of the piece wasn't as racy.

Marginalia said...

Dear Bojo, feed back from our client is welcomed. We aim to tailor our product to our clients needs and wishes.