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Thursday, 17 January 2013

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

It's not fair. It's some bloody plot, a conspiracy. Morrisons smudged finger prints are all over this! I say it again it's not fair!

My Tesco shares - I've seen them lose value  over the past few years like Dido's download sales. Down, down, down. Then good news; they've upped their game, come off the curve with pace, breasted the tape, after better than forecast sales growth. My shares bounce up. I'm vindicated in my automatic reinvestment of my divi in new shares (I do that 'cause I'm too mean to pay brokerage costs).

What happens. Horsing around that's what happens. Equine matter in bovine burgers that's the problem. Not to mention a trace of porcine.

Let's face it if you spend most of your life gulping down legs of chickens, shanks of lamb and sides of beef, why should you be upset if your burger has a saddle of Shergar intermingled. O.K. the list of ingredients did not mention the 20% of Black Beauty contained therein. Get over it. Think yourself lucky; horse meat  is frankly healthier and nicer than bog standard moo cow.

Actually it's unlikely to be a cut of a pedigree race horse that you nosh on, more likely some old, fly infested nag whose flesh is near rancid. But why worry you have no idea anyway what goes into Tesco's burgers. Now you're certain you don't.

Think yourself lucky. What about those poor Jews and Muslims who bought the burgers. No one told them they contained pork!

The trouble is, you start wondering what else is in the food you buy. Alright, you know that they stretch the truth when they say the stuff  is "grown by farmers dedicated to the highest standards of husbandry", that's copywriter crap we all know that. But not being sure what's  in what you eat. That's pretty fundamental. In the past adulterating food could cost you your life.

No wonder my Tesco shares have gone south. And quite right too.

I don't want to beef about this but Tesco's shouldn't make a Bonanza out of horse.


Steve said...

Indeed. Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh! I've had the galloping shits since the news broke.

Boj said...

Don't understand how Dildo's download sales fit into this story?

Marginalia said...

Dear Steve, this can go on for ever, but hopefully the end is neigh!

Dear Boj . It's Dido ( as in Dido and Aeneas) not a muff machine. Get your eyes checked out!

Bojo said...

OK I get it - Dido and Anus.

Marginalia said...

Dear Bojo, you're one of the few that liked Brad Pitt in "Troy"?

Anonymous said...

Those Aldi horse burgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony

Marginalia said...

Very good, you should try writing gags for Jim Davidson.

Anonymous said...

He is "indisposed" at the moment

RubberCrutch said...

Rancid, fly-pecked horsemeat? In the RubberCrutch household we call that "rock & roll steak". You guys have bigger problems than that with your Kentucky Fried Chicken franchises:

RubberCrutch said...

I'm sure Jim Davidson would gag himself were he to read this post.

Marginalia said...

Dear RC, KFC is top nosh in this neck of the woods.

Not certain our Jimbo can read.