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Sunday, 9 December 2012

The Boynton Beach Bereavement Club

When you look at the kitchen units and decide that there's no point in replacing them you know you're getting old.

When you wonder whether it's time to get a pair of shoes with Velcro strips, you know you've move up the Grim Reaper's invitation list.


When the thought of unbridled sex with a passionate twenty something has you reaching for your headache pills you know it's time to check out the small print of your life insurance.

When you're sitting in front of the telly watching ads for easy chairs, cruises on the Rhine and "convenience pads", you know it's time to visit the local Care Homes while you're still able.

When every other word you utter is "Pardon" and every other thought is "Now, what was I thinking?"it's time to re-consider life's remaining priorities.

When getting up in the night now has only one meaning, you know you really should think about getting a potty or a catheter.

When looking over the banisters brings on vertigo and looking up the stairs brings on a fainting spell, maybe you should think about moving to a small bungalow near Worthing. 

Alternatively, you can own up to getting on in years. But since you feel and think no differently now than when you were younger and Mike Jagger is older than you anyway, what the heck!

You're just getting the knack of this life game, it's fun now!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe there is an OAPs dogging club in Walsthamstow. That may pep you up. Can look for the phone no if you wish

Marginalia said...

I bet it's in a bus shelter. Be too cold otherwise.

Steve said...

Best one I read was in a book whose name I can't recall: "I have reached that age when any meeting with someone I recognize commences with an organ recital".

Think about it...

Anonymous said...

Are you still with us?

Marginalia said...

Dear Anon, So good of you to care. Yes, I'm still around.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to check.Some of our old folk slip away this time of year and no one notices.

Marginalia said...

Dear Anon, maybe if I sent you a remote heart monitor?