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Monday, 21 May 2012

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

Every day annoyances

1) Lack of a sense of distance: especially around my head. This morning banged it hard trying to navigate my way out of a cupboard.

2) People who spit. I just don't get it. Paper tissues aren't that expensive.

3) People who drink, eat, put on their makeup, paint their nails, comb their hair, pluck their eyebrows and pick their nose on the tube.

4) People who fart and pretend it's someone else. Be proud, embrace your gaseous emissions!

5) Tweets - especially advertising twits who tweet. Twitter's for gossip, slagging off and being down right offensive. Not, I repeat not, for selling self sealing underwear.

6) All politicians, except those I like. Which is zero minus.

7) Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury's etc, etc.... self service tills. They have nothing to do with service and all to do with conditioning.

8) People who drive large, aggressive German built cars. Why do they have to have the biggest, ugliest car in town? What's wrong with something smaller - like a  Robin Reliant  ?

9) Peter Andre: why?

10) Facebook:  "I have friends all over the world. None in this country, but all over the world!" Hancock "The Radio Ham", enough said.

Tomorrow: everyday likes. If I can be bothered.


Anonymous said...

Mr Grumpy speaks!

Surely someone who had all that free sex and education would have a more uplifting view of life!?

Steve said...

You forgot "work colleagues".

Peter Andre said...


Because I am worth it!

Marginalia said...

Dear Anon, you're so right! I am ashamed of myself!

Dear Steve, I haven't any!

Dear Peter, Yes, that's the problem - you think you are!