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Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Chariots of Fire

Oh God, I hate the Olympics. Is it bad of me to confess that or am I in a very large majority.

Our last Labour Government has much to condemn it. Iraq, lying, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, discovering the Millipede brothers and cosying up to George W. Yet the biggest blot on their particular political landscape was supporting our bid to host the Olympics. Not only did we win the "honour"  to host this obscene festival of irrelevance, we have  had to suffer the self preening of a load of grubby politicians and plutocrats for seven years!

Is it any wonder that Greece has suffered such a cataclysmic failure of its economy and finances? It hosted the 2004 Summer Olympics! Frankly I'm not surprised the Chinese economy is coming off the boil - that's what happens when you invite a bunch of self elected prats to pitch the world's largest corporate hospitality tent in the middle of your country.

"A Games For the People", "Inspiring a Generation"; A Glorious Heritage Delivered" and all the other vacuous, mindless, meaningless, mendacious, mealy mouthed utterances from the mouths of grovelling, gormless, gutter hugging lice. Luckily the Brits are made of sterner stuff and using our inalienable right to cock things up whenever possible will mean the Olympics, the Gods willing,  falling flat on its over inflated arse.

We, the citizens of this great nation have (uninvited) spent  billions of our hard (and not so hard) earned money on jacking up this jamboree. And what does it mean?

It means being banned  from, or forced to abandon, our own dear city. To suffer unspeakable overcrowding, delays, re-routing and possibly, catastrophic melt down of the whole of London's transport system. The only way the Underground will cope is if most of London's commuters and residents take their holidays during the Olympic weeks and bugger off to Bognor for the duration.

It means mega-acres of TV, press, internet and radio coverage. People who have rightly been banished from the airways for donkey's years will miraculously reappear to host interminable programmes on the Games. Reams of slow motion shots of either the Brits glorious failures or their incomprehensible successes will stifle our cognitive powers. As well as yawning hours of interviews with  kids who've made good because of the Olympic Spirit: when they should have  been doing something productive like rioting on the streets and getting excluded from school!

It means a maniacal outbreak of Olympic Street parties up and down the length and breath of the Nation. Millions of people using much needed brain power to get us out of our current financial and economic mess, will instead be thinking up mindless slogans and games for the friggin' kiddiwinks to play. It means dozens of extremely slappable regional dolly reporters smiling inanely into the TV camera as they interview cartloads of grannies, grand dads and single mums with little Johnnies and getting their take on the Diamond Jubilee - whoops!

It means we're all going to Hell in a handcart.

If there's a dark force out there with some fiendish desire to ensnare the British people - there'll be no better time to strike! We'll be a walk over.



Steve said...

I'm with you. I hate the Olympic too. Or indeed any kind of sport. I even hated Bullseye in the 70's.

Wibbo said...

Not a happy bunny today, are we? I do like a good rant :D

Scarlett said...

I like the Olympics as long as they stay away from my hometown - I understand and feel your pain, July 4th is a real bitch in Philly and that's not even 1/4th of what you'll go through. And whenever you say Bugger Off, I giggle like a little girl !! Too funny.

Marginalia said...

Dear Steve, a child of the 70's. You must have been extremely precocious. You're in your early 40's right!

Marginalia said...

Dear Wibbo, happy to oblige.

Marginalia said...

Dear Scarlett, thank you for your sympathy.

"To bugger off" is a quaint English expression used in a playful, non aggressive way to express disapproval as in "Why the F*** don't you bugger off or surprise as in "Well bugger me". It has an olde worlde feel about it.

Anonymous said...

I am sure though that you will be at the beach volleyball events at the Horse Grand Parade

Marginalia said...