Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Chariots of Fire
Our last Labour Government has much to condemn it. Iraq, lying, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, discovering the Millipede brothers and cosying up to George W. Yet the biggest blot on their particular political landscape was supporting our bid to host the Olympics. Not only did we win the "honour" to host this obscene festival of irrelevance, we have had to suffer the self preening of a load of grubby politicians and plutocrats for seven years!
Is it any wonder that Greece has suffered such a cataclysmic failure of its economy and finances? It hosted the 2004 Summer Olympics! Frankly I'm not surprised the Chinese economy is coming off the boil - that's what happens when you invite a bunch of self elected prats to pitch the world's largest corporate hospitality tent in the middle of your country.
"A Games For the People", "Inspiring a Generation"; A Glorious Heritage Delivered" and all the other vacuous, mindless, meaningless, mendacious, mealy mouthed utterances from the mouths of grovelling, gormless, gutter hugging lice. Luckily the Brits are made of sterner stuff and using our inalienable right to cock things up whenever possible will mean the Olympics, the Gods willing, falling flat on its over inflated arse.
We, the citizens of this great nation have (uninvited) spent billions of our hard (and not so hard) earned money on jacking up this jamboree. And what does it mean?
It means being banned from, or forced to abandon, our own dear city. To suffer unspeakable overcrowding, delays, re-routing and possibly, catastrophic melt down of the whole of London's transport system. The only way the Underground will cope is if most of London's commuters and residents take their holidays during the Olympic weeks and bugger off to Bognor for the duration.
It means mega-acres of TV, press, internet and radio coverage. People who have rightly been banished from the airways for donkey's years will miraculously reappear to host interminable programmes on the Games. Reams of slow motion shots of either the Brits glorious failures or their incomprehensible successes will stifle our cognitive powers. As well as yawning hours of interviews with kids who've made good because of the Olympic Spirit: when they should have been doing something productive like rioting on the streets and getting excluded from school!
It means a maniacal outbreak of Olympic Street parties up and down the length and breath of the Nation. Millions of people using much needed brain power to get us out of our current financial and economic mess, will instead be thinking up mindless slogans and games for the friggin' kiddiwinks to play. It means dozens of extremely slappable regional dolly reporters smiling inanely into the TV camera as they interview cartloads of grannies, grand dads and single mums with little Johnnies and getting their take on the Diamond Jubilee - whoops!
It means we're all going to Hell in a handcart.
If there's a dark force out there with some fiendish desire to ensnare the British people - there'll be no better time to strike! We'll be a walk over.