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Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Mary Poppins

It's not often I write two posts in a day. However, my researches for my last post turned up a  cracking website.

If you're a parent of a young teenage girl Bachelorette.com is the site for you.

Want to organise a smart, dizzy birthday party for your young angel as she hits her teens. Keen to encourage home cooking, and skills that will help her be the perfect hostess as her husband to be climbs the greasy pole of success. It's all here.

For that birthday bash with a splash what could be better than a plateful of "Penis Pops and Naughty Candy" Or to liven up those stuffy drinks of Pepsi and Fanta there's nothing like "Penis Straws" or "Penis Shot Glasses".

Cookery classes will never again be dull as your little darlings get their creative juices flowing with the "Pecker Cake Pan", or penis shaped cupcake moulds and  "Blue Balls" ice cube trays in the shape  of...yes you've guessed.... mini penises. And why not round off the feast with a confection cooked in the "Booty Cake Mould". The theme is rather limited but I sure you'll agree if it gets your little housewifette cooking it's worth it.

Sex education is important and is something many parents find difficult to brooch with their teen daughters. A proper, respectful attitude towards sex and all its aspects is an essential building block to a mature, loving relationship between a man and a woman.

Let Bachelorette's own Party Dolls take the stress out of sex education. They're  ideal tools to teach those intimate secrets of love and sex. There's "Captain Pecker" a 6 foot blow up penis - anatomically correct in every detail (except its length of course).

Easy sex may be fun, but it can be heartbreaking. You daughter can learn the pitfalls of casual sex in a safe home environment with "Peter Pecker" - the party wrecker. Then there's "The African-American Inflatable Male Member", all smiles and grins to put some funk into your baby's graduation do.

Playing games is a great way to have safe, innocent fun. That's why Bachelorette offer a range of games that will educate as well as entertain.

Have hours of fun with the "Hot Willy" game: it's like musical chairs but with more savvy. Or there's "Pin the Cock on the Jock" a saucy variation of pin the tail on the donkey. And boy are some of these jocks hung like donkeys! Imagine all the fun and female bonding your darlings can have with this.

Finally, to end any seniority party with a bang; "The Giant Penis Pinata". 21 inches filled with goodies that you can bash mercilessly. Unfortunately it's sold out, but you can pre-order.

Who says Capitalism doesn't work!



4 comments:

Steve said...

Sounds a load of old cock to me.

Tenon_Saw said...

I've bookmarked the site for Christmas shopping - many a joke present to be had.

Pigmund Freud said...

This and your last post concern me. You are developing unhealthy interests.

My advice to patients like you is:

- have cold baths every two hours
- buy a box set of "Keeping up Appearances"
- subscribe to the Daily Mail

If that fails, just cut em off

Marginalia said...

Dear all. I think the range of replies reflects favourably on my clientele.

Steve: incisive

TS: Practical and always on the look out for a good buy.

PF: a beacon of phychiatric poppycock.

Thank you all.