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Monday, 8 August 2011

I Predict a Riot


On my way to the doc's last Wednesday I heard a loud rumbling noise. Turning around I saw a humongous articulated lorry inching its way down this rather narrow road.

Walthamstow village is a small enclave of select, oldish properties, narrow streets and is a conservation area. The largest vehicle one expects to find in its streets is an Ocado van delivering Waitrose's early season fruit and veg to one of the arty farty families with kids called Seven Up and Popsy.

The large, lumbering lorry was lost. A serious case of sat nav misdirection. As it tried to squeeze itself between the 13th century church and the 16th century timbered house, the driver stared opened mouth as a sharp, narrow turning hove into view.

I was tempted to run up to his cab and point out that he hadn't a cat in hell's chance of negotiating that corner, but decided he probably didn't need some smart arse pointing out the bloody obvious. So I just stood there enjoying his agony.

The lorry had strange Eastern European Cyrillic script all over it. At first I thought it was graffiti but then on closer inspection it turned out to be Bulgarian. No doubt another load of cut price booze destined for the up market corner shops of Walthamstow. Or new stock for Bon Manche ahead of the looting over the weekend.

But I couldn't hang around and see another lamp post and front garden demolished I had important business to transact - my blood test. So reluctantly I left the driver and his impossibly wide load to their own fates.

He was still lost about 3 hours later. He had managed miraculously to get through the village and I next saw him blocking the main high street on his mobile. No doubt explaining to his wife that he wouldn't be home for tea within the foreseeable future.

We've had our own helping of looting here.  Walthamstow's  youth have to find something to do over the long summer holidays. I was, however, disappointed with their lack of ambition. They looted the local Poundshop, for God's sake. Why not highjack a bus, trundle off to Woodford and smash up the local  Waitrose - they'd at least get stuff had that some street value.

But what can you expect - kids these days have no business sense. I blame it on the teachers. Not enough life skills and too much Latin, Greek and Tensor calculus for their own good. What chance has any kid of getting a job with A*s in those subjects. 


3 comments:

Steve said...

They looted a pound shop? How many copies of Jamie's School Dinners do they need?

broken biro said...

I heard reports of Lidl being looted too, somewhere.

But in Birkenhead, near where I live, 100 youths were out smashing up cars - not even bright enough to smash Blockbusters windows and stock up on DVD 'nasties'.

Marginalia said...

Dear Steve and bb, I know lack of ambition and entrepreneurial skills - I fear for the future.