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Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Why


Lately I'm finding I'm worrying more  about the "Whys" of life. I put this down to the aging process and the realisation that if I don't get the answers soon  to a number of fundamental questions I never will.

You know how it is. In your youth you're struck by a fundamental question but, unless you're a Wittgenstein or a Kierkegaard, you put it to one side, thinking I've got plenty of time to suss that out, now for the important stuff - "And your name is?".

Well those golden days, sipping nectar and running with the nymphs, are long past returning and the sky is pressing down. Urgent questions need answering.

I'm not talking about the ineffable, unanswerable, unformulated "Whys" such as "Why Cheryl Cole? Why only now has she discovered America?". "Why is sex so funny?" My questions are much simpler.

Why I stopped believing in God on July 16th 1969. Or more importantly why God stopped believing in me.

Why it's taken my whole adulthood (or 40 years of it) to discover the child inside of me.

Why I smile whenever I think of my wife.

Why when looking in the mirror I see a stranger who is worryingly familiar.

Why I damn people I don't know.

Why I don't explode when thinking about the majesty of it all. You, me, our cats, and the stunning complexity of everything.

Why I'm here and how it is I'm able to imagine me here.

I need answers, not because I'm desperate for solutions, but because that's what makes me me. Questioning, always questioning.

We mustn't stop. It's our salvation and genius.

4 comments:

Madame DeFarge said...

I don't find the questions hard to ask, it's just the irritation provoked by the lack of answers that I can't deal with.

Steve said...

My little one has just discovered the magic of why. For him why isn't so much a question as an answer. No matter what I say or how carefully I explain something to him I get the response: "why." It's marvellous and makes me laugh every time.

Keith said...

If you had the answers you would run the risk of stopping. What would there be left to know ? It is the curiosity of life that gets us out of bed in the morning. Well that and a full bladder.

Questions are like mountains, there will always be a bigger one next.

Marginalia said...

Dear Defarge, why do you get irritated?

Dear Steve, not having had kids I've missed that joy.

Dear Keith, how right you are...about a full bladder.