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Friday, 13 May 2011

Another One Bites the Dust

 It's one of those days when the weather just cannot make up its own mind. Oh how we hope for rain, yet those dark, lowering clouds won't give up their cargo and the winds blow them and their precious moisture out of our reach.

I can't decide whether to go to the allotment, with this wind it won't be much fun but with this wind drying everything I suppose I'd better. If only to offer a libation to the Earth goddess.

Went to the allotment, glad I did. Planted out my winter squash and my courgettes (frost not forecast), watered everything, and potted on my sweet and purple basil. I have over 100 plants! and that doesn't include the bush basil (or as we say in the trade Basil Bush - Boom, Boom). My melons - no sniggering please - are coming on a treat and I can't  wait to get down and dirty with my cucumbers. My red hot chillies, and sweet peppers are looking like they might be viable, and my purple sprouting brocs are a joy to behold . It's all go, go, go at Alice's Restaurant.

I love e-mailing. It's a well of creativity and joy, a route to Nirvana, a temptation that can lead to damnation. E-mailing from home is not so risky, but e-mailing at work; that's when intelligence will out.

I have often sent off e-mails which I instantly wished I could recall. Either you realise what you've said can be misinterpreted (deliberately or otherwise), you've sent it to far too many people, and/or what you've said is completely wrong. Often, I've e-mail last thing because I didn't want to get a reply before I went home: only to spend a sleepless night wondering what would in fill my in tray in the morning.

Cheeky e-mails are great aren't they. They're fun, they oil the wheels of government/commerce/industry. Or they should do. There is always some drone on your e-mail list who does not appreciate your comic aside about the reported antics of a member of the Government.

The European Union may have freedom of trade, work and no borders but humour stops at Calais; so I found out when commenting, in ironic terms, about the  EU Commission's latest proposals on energy regulation.

You may think there is little that is funny about competition in the energy markets, other than the thousands of regulators across Europe who appear  helpless to prevent the energy suppliers from ripping off their customers. While you may not be able to devise a limerick about the naffness of the competition framework, you can about the noxious EU representative from .....

It is always nice when e-mail back fire.

There was one rather overly self important individual in my department: he smoked a pipe and had such a high opinion of himself. Yet he would do anything not to take responsibility. He was a master at framing an e-mail so that whatever was to be decided it was not for him to opine on. He was skilful in managing his addressees so that it would appear that it wasn't he that took the decision.

On one occasion he had switched on his "out of office" message except somehow rather than sending the message to only those who needed to know he wasn't around, it went to the whole department  - 1300 people. Other "out of office" messages fired back and obediently his "out of office" message responded. In no time he crashed the whole of the department's network.

Two things happened. First, many of us e-mailed him commenting on his crassness. Second, the IT people fixed the flaw in our system so that fun cascading effect couldn't happen again.

Mind you, be careful what you say in e-mails. I'd left my department for pastures new but returned for my bosses' leaving do a year or so later. He was glad to see me, but even gladder to tell me that he'd been asked to review my e-mails of a couple of years before hand.

I just thought it was a little po-faced of him to complain that he had to view e-mails from me which expressed "departmental views" on another department's position in rather flowery language. I pointed out that we'd won the argument in that instance, but he felt that a Latin or Greek tag would have been preferable in such situations to Anglo Saxon one. I think I swore.

Anyway I must now reply to my ex work mates' e-mail - a chain which has been going since last December. What fun!  

1 comment:

Steve said...

Emails are fun but when I really want to pay some back I phone them anonymously in the middle of the night. Heavy breathing does it in most cases... unless they're enjoying it.