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Friday, 8 April 2011

Hangin' on the telephone

 Today I have no mobile phone. Yesterday my old phone was connected to the outside world, space, the blogosphere, the internet, my bookmaker, banker and employment consultant. Today, I'm cast adrift on a sea of exasperation.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. When I registered my new totally awesome phone, Ms Orange told me that it would take up to 24 hrs to connect my new phone to the bright, shiny town that is OrangeVille. That's alright I replied, I can still use my old phone until then. Yes she re-assured me.

Well it's more than 24 hours since I registered and both phones are disconnected. My new awesome phone (I've said that already?) has a little x where the signal strength icon should be. It also tells me that I have no activation message; which I understand is to be sent to me so I can join the human race once again.

My old, has been, I'll pass it onto the wife, phone disconcertingly shows a rudely strong signal but digging deeper into the bowels of the critter's innards I find that the network is unavailable.

Well, here goes using the tried and trusted landline to connect to Orange....... and it's sorted.

Apparently I should have switched the phone off, removed the battery, put it back and then switched the thing on again (on the hour every hour since I registered yesterday?). I said, I was expecting an text message, which I was to delete and then switch the phone off and on again. Now I feel like a plonker.

Even more plonkerish. I've been notified that I've  a text - where, oh there, and it's from the woman my wife and her partner are meeting today - except she wants to cancel and I can't get in touch with them.

It was never like this at Christmas, presents worked out of the brown wrapping paper.Except ,of course, there was always the dreaded heavy duty socks and Auntie Peg's hand knitted sweater - three sizes too large.

Childhood is a preparation for life's little frustrations and disappointments.  

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