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Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Stockport We Love You

I don't know what Stockport has done to upset the Daily Mail, but they should be quaking in their boots. Upset the organ of the squeezed middle England and you're history. It's the burgers of that illustrious town that have seemingly got right up the nose of the champion of the oppressed . In today's paper not one, but two tales of the barmy burgers and their nannying.

First there's Beverley Akciecek, a hard working  "cafe owner who was ordered to tear down an extractor fan because the smell of bacon offended Muslims."

The Lib Dem-run council ruled that the smell from the fan, which has been in Bev's Snack Shack for more than three years, was 'unacceptable on the grounds of residential amenity'.  But the plucky mother-of-seven and her husband Cetin, 50, who is himself a Turkish Muslim, appealed the decision, and won.

"It's a victory for common sense said ...the over-worked small business woman, salt of the earth and bastion of bacon butties where-ever they sizzle.

Not that all her neighbours see her in such a favourable light. Mr Graham Webb- Lee is not a happy bunny.

'This is disgraceful. It makes our house stink of vile cooking smells, we can't eat our breakfast in the morning. I will be speaking to my lawyer. The vent is 12 inches from my front door. Every morning the smell of bacon comes through and makes me physically sick." said the aggrieved Mr Webb-Lee. He continued, 'I have a lot of Muslim friends. They refuse to visit me any more because they can't stand the smell of bacon.'
Anyway, right has triumphed and a left leaning, Trotsky like, council has been smacked down. Britain's small businessmen and women can dig us out of the mess we're in, unhampered by the sinister  goings on in our local communist run councils.

Except of course these "commie" councils will do anything to undermine the British entrepreneur and our way of life. Having lost the battle against plucky Bev and her bacon, Stockport's officious storm troopers are at it again!

Now, all over Stockport, "salt shakers are being removed from counters and table-tops at curry houses, fish and chip shops and cafes in a council-backed health drive. It means thousands of customers in Greater Manchester will have to specifically ask for salt if they want to add it to their food!!

The move is part of the Stockport council-backed ASK campaign.And it's not the first time that the Council's  stasi have tried to clamp down on the Great British food tradition.

In 2009 it gave cafes salt cellars with five holes instead of 17! The move was welcomed by  whining health campaigners and Marxist celebrity chef Paul Heathcote, who said it would nudge people in the right direction.

However, other right thinking people and defenders of the British right to drown their chips and curry in acres of salt believe this is another step towards the "nanny state". Which is exactly what  Stockport's Conservative group leader, Les Jones, said it creates..... a 'nanny town'.

Cllr Jones said:  'British people don't like being ordered around. If you actually want people to use more salt, then tell them not to. It's a foolish thing to do.'

I'm afraid Mr Cameron has a job on his hands. But the ever vigilant Daily Mail is there to see that we, small people, get a fair crack of the whip. I can feel my chest swell with pride!


The Sagittarian said...

Is that serious? Or are you pulling our (WV) 'pudde'?

Marginalia said...

It was written with both tongues in cheek.

The news stories are, unfortunately, true, so far as the Mail understands the meaning of the word.