Sunday, 20 March 2011
We all have/had 'em, some of us have them still, others have a few remaining. Many, unfortunately, have none at all.
I'm talking about Teeth.
I was born to a toothless woman. At the very young age of 20 odd my Mum had all her teeth removed. There was nothing wrong with them, but she had the misfortune of being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis - and it was thought by the medical fraternity at the time that teeth were the root of the trouble and so out they came. It didn't do any good.
I have fond memories of the glass mug bubbling away on her bedside table; Mum's teeth chattering to themselves as the Steradent tablets fizzed.
Teeth are quite high maintenance. I've still got most of mine, with only one lost - to a pliers mad butcher in 1972. Most of my molars are capped with gold, a gold bridge across the 1972 gap was supplied by a lovely Australian in 1976 and this prevents continental drift in my lower jaw.
Every morning my teeth greet me. Ready for a brush up, floss and douche. Luckily they don't complain, I've not had the misfortune of having any of my front teeth knocked out, broken or chipped by fist ,ball or pavement and they are fairly regular. As my mouth is infinitely expandable, I'm lucky that a smile reveals the whit(ish) Cliffs of Dover rather than the jagged peaks of the Alps.
Quite a thought isn't it: your teeth are as old as you! They've probably seen more of you than anyone else you know. They've shared the seminal events in your life. Your first kiss, a double act that with the tongue (that really,really passionate one with not just a gyrating tongue, but clashing teeth. Split lip or what!) Then, of course, there's your first drink and the falling face first soon afterwards. Your teeth were there or there abouts.
Did you give them a moment's thought as you shivered in the freezing cold and they chattered. Did you consider their feelings when you signed up to that £500 teeth whitening programme. What does that say about your tooth world view?
Do you allow quality time for you and your teeth to plan your life together? Seriously, your teeth ought to be told if you're planning a major shift in your diet. Like from unhealthy, but easily masticated, burgers to whole wheat, full on vegetarianism. Such a change, unannounced, can be pretty shattering.
No, take it from me, your teeth are your chums, they need to be kept in the flossing loop. And the next time you look at them in the mirror just before bed, blow them a kiss. They'll appreciate it and maybe, just maybe that nagging molar will let you have a reasonable night's sleep.