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Sunday, 1 August 2010

Burning Down the House

You might have missed the story, I did.  I don't know how. Google "Iranian octopus" and there's over a million results.

Paul the octopus ( mystic mollusc that correctly predicted the Football World Cup result) is attacked by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (transportation engineer made good).

Do Iranians eat squid? There's lots of dry land in that country but also plenty of water, in the north the Caspian Sea and in the south the Persian Gulf. However my albeit limited search of the web did not catch an Iranian recipe using the mollusc. No matter, they don't need it they have enough good recipes without cooking one of my favourite sea animals.

I went out with an Iranian in the early 1970's. She was lovely, over here to learn English and spend loads of money as her father was a general in the Shah's army. The last time I saw her was in 1978 - before the Revolution.

The Iranians have a long and proud history. Much of the source of our Western civilisation was shaped in opposition to the great empires of Persia. So it is rather a come down to read about the leader of a great nation criticising an, albeit clever, octopus.

Apparently the president accused Paul  of spreading "western propaganda and suspicion". Not so sure about that Mahmoud my love. Now if you'd said "Pope Paul" leaving out the reference to him being an octopus I might have taken you a bit more seriously. But however bright Paul (the octopus) is, he hasn't been spreading what you claim he has. No seriously, he hasn't!

The trouble with Mahmoud is that he has no sense of fun. Or if he has he loses it the moment he makes a public utterance.

In the same "Octopussy" speech he said "Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values."

Frankly that is far too serious. I think lovely Mahmoud has missed the point. Mystic Paul was a bit of fun. A pointless distraction which enlivened, for us Brits, what was a bloody awful World Cup.

Lighten up Mr President - don't take yourself so seriously. There's enough that is serious in your neck of the woods without you heaping on another cartload. 

While I'm in the mood for a bit of modest Iran bashing, Prince Charles - member of an ancient royal household tenuously holding onto their last few hundred millions - has been asked to help block a new Iranian embassy planned for South Kensington. The trouble is the design for the new embassy is apparently ultra modern and would sit slam bang in the middle of  hugely expensive Victorian and Georgian mansions. Guaranteed to shave off at least 20%  of their substantial value.

The Prince whose development of architectural taste was arrested in kindergarden, has shown to have the ear of many a wealthy magnet and developer. He it was who was successful last year in securing the scrapping of a modernist development on the site of Chelsea Barracks, only two miles away, which had been proposed by members of Qatar's ruling family.

No doubt he already has his pen in hand ready to send off an excoriating missive to....ah this is where he might have a problem....Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I am 100 per cent sure that he does not share Charlie's love of goonery and silly, nonsensical songs.

God knows what President Serious thinks of  the Iranian remake of the Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall"!


G said...

Um... what!? Did uh, any Western leaders like, bow down to Paul in deference or something..?

I think he would make a better job of banking-reform and foreign policy, mind you.

The Sagittarian said...

I have a stick that can predict weather. When it's wet it's raining, when it's dry it's not raining, and when it waves about it's windy. Take that, squid boy!