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Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Spinning Wheel

"Just think Cliff Richard might get her blood. That'll slow him down a bit." At moments of great stress I often find comfort in the words of Tony Hancock.

It is, I think, appropriate that a line from the classic "Blood Donor" should spring to mind at such times as these. For if David and George are to be believed we're about to have more than a pint of the nation's life blood drained from us over the next few years. "A pint!, that's very nearly an armful" 

What to cut? Helpfully our very young, dapper and frightfully noblesse oblige leaders, are asking us the plebs what we think should be reduced, stopped, never started and generally done away with. It's a bit like the surgeon asking the patient which part of his body he thinks should be removed. Anyway, knowing the nosey, busy bodies, know-it-alls we Brits are Georgy Porgy will not lack for suggestions. Many may well be painful to him personally.   

At times of national crisis, I also turn to "The Daily Mail". Not for wisdom, solace or comfort but for incisive comment on the great issues of the day. They did not fail me. 

"Taxpayers fund course to teach teens how to wear high heels to work."  Those commie, pot smoking, free loving college lecturers are at it again! They're only running a six-week 'Sexy Heels In The City' course for 16-year-old students at the socialist republic of the South Thames College in South London.

The course was run by "Chyna Whyne, a former backing singer, who claims her life was made a misery because she wasn't taught how to walk in high heels at a young age." Sensible "businesswoman Annette Lees blasted the programme" - good on you girl - it's your taxes keeping the loony leftie lecturers in jobs and pensions and ...and..and other ..things.

The article was accompanied by a photograph of a rather fetching Pixie Lott - not, I  understand, one of the students. What a shame, I'm sure she would have benefited. 

On the inside pages more incisive journalism. We're told that the rating agency Fitch - you know the people who said all those junk derivatives were AAA grade investments - has warned our George that "Britain’s prized AAA rating could be at risk unless action was taken, adding that the scale of the fiscal challenge facing Chancellor George Osborne warranted a faster pace of deficit reduction than set out in the April 2010 Budget." And.....haven't they noticed we've had a change of Government since Alastair Darling's final Budget in April. Didn't they hear what our Dave said yesterday about "it ain't going to be pretty."

Much has been made of our Government following the Canadian model of getting out of debtor gaol. In the Mail's cool measured tone:  "UK studies Canada's Bloodbath Budget".

Can't get any more objective than that.

Dave, 23 a Daily Mail reader from Bromley has already provided George Osborne with a suggestion to reduce the debt.

"Make all those on benefit sleep in the streets". I take it you'd also take the benefit from them Dave, otherwise there'd be no point would there.

As another great comic said: "Oh what's the use?"




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