Why I'm Bullshit

Bloody Hell, Vernon Kay is caught sending sexually explicit texts (bit like groping but more intellectual). Annie Lennox battling for the heart of Aberdeen, and Barnaby’s cousin taking over in Midsomer. What an exciting Wednesday and that’s just the highly respectable “Independent”. I daren’t look at the “Daily Mail: oh alright, just a peek.

That was really stupid (although not as stupid as Vernon Kay). In the Mail, temperatures plummet, as parts of the North East and Kent (Mail readers know where Kent is, the North East is a little tricky) blanketed in sleet and snow. “Baby Factory” mum has fourteenth baby taken into care. Father who chopped of intruder’s ears with Samurai sword cleared and the internet “rewires” children’s brains and makes them vulnerable to mental illness. That’s just part of the front page.

And I haven’t begun reading the little Englander articles that spice up the morning for the millions who read this joke comic. Today’s treat is the headline “Ambassador calls for divorce after veil-wearing Muslim bride reveals a beard and crossed eyes” The story about an Arab ambassador who discovered that his bride wasn’t what he’d expected is a classic in editorial prejudice. It manages to imply quite a lot about the character of the Arab man and the duplicity of the Arab woman wearing the niqab without saying out and out “aren’t these people weird and untrustworthy.

We know that the Mail isn’t the greatest fan of European Human Rights legislation, and I’m not sure it thinks much of people who may have different views or beliefs to those it believes its readers should hold.

How does it handle the case of the Hindu who went to court and won his case to have an open air cremation? According to the Mail the man wins “human right” to an open air cremation. Nothing of the sort, the courts stated that there was nothing under existing law to prevent this happening. It wasn’t a “’uman rights” question but one of the law (about what constitutes a building) being correctly interpreted.  And of course the little subliminal dig (a nice bit this). We’re told that the Hindu “Mr Ghai, a British citizen, came to England from Kenya in 1958 to study.” What has that got to do with anything – except at the moment the Mail is on the rampage about overseas students “cheating” their way into this country.

Well, good on you Mr Ghai, and good on you Lord Neuberger, Master of the Rolls.

Finally, we learn that a head teacher is “hounded” from her job because a sheep reared on the school farm was slaughtered. I can’t make out whether the Mail’s supporting the teacher, the parents or the bloody sheep. Except to say that it’s reported that the sheep was slaughtered after the school council made up of pupils aged between seven and eleven years voted, thirteen to one, to have the animal killed! You couldn’t make it up. Or could you? It is the Daily Mail after all.

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