The daily life of a Covidian

Today May the 12th in the year of our Lord MMXX I am blessed. Hermes, after some delay delivered bounty in the shape of 200 tablets of B12 which I had ordered via the internet. I had paid substantially for a next day delivery but the blessed God was a day late - my request for a refund was ignored. My horseless carriage is now in motion and today I ventured out to our local large Sainsbury's Supermarket clutching a detailed shopping list prepared by 'er in doors. 

I didn't know what to expect when I arrived at the store. So much has changed in the Land of Covid. I was worried that my steed might be infected by some strange petrochemical mutation of our Lord Covid. Humbly I muttered under my breath words of supplication and lo, the beast started up first time. It had been silent for months but now she roared and I headed down the Appian Way (aka Hoe Street) full of joy.

The great assembly place in front of the temple was full and as I climbed out of my horseless carriage I realised I had no sestertius to unlock the horn of cornucopia. Blessed be the management: they realised that many hands fumbling for coins would stir up Lord Covid and he would inflict a deadly plague. So the trolleys were free. Taking one I joined the ceremonial queue which stretched from the Crooked Billet as far as Ostia. 

As the sun and moon traverse the heavens so our queue moved, each of us a passus apart. Some unbelievers disobeyed the divine ruling and were smote with harsh words and finger poking and  in time we were allowed to enter the hallowed halls I being given a magic wand to record my purchases as I went around the aisles. 

A few were allowed in at one time. Sentries alarmingly dressed in yellow surveyed the line beckoning us to move forward. What joy it was to be inside the temple. There set out before me was a profusion of choice. (Well not actually but you can't complain when Lord Covid is on your case). With ease I made my purchases, aisles usually thronged were vacant and if any fellow worshipper came within spitting distance I gave them the death stare. 

And so I returned home a champion. My horseless wonder full of all sorts of delights. 'Er in doors greeted me as a hero and bedecked me with garlands. I now drink deep of the vine and the praise of my family and community. 

Lord Covid is truly omnipotent and his largesse knows no bounds.