"Women and Children First"

It was all incredibly exciting. Three of us were sitting at our table just having arrived from a “Snowmobile Trip in the Arctic”. Normally we’d dine at 6 pm but because of the snowmobiling meal time was at 8 pm. We’d ordered the wine and had a delicious plate of something or other before us when all hell broke loose. The whole place emptied and headed for the exit. The cause of this lemming like behaviour wasn’t the sighting of a U boat on the starboard bow or a hole appearing in the dining area. No, the ship’s captain had foolishly announced that there were them Northern Lights (NLs) in the sky. With that a scene reminiscent of “The Towering Inferno” was enacted before us. Screams, half-digested meatballs, plates were abandoned as everyone headed for Deck 9. They took no prisoners – children, people with crutches or in wheel- chairs were pushed aside in the rush to glimpse the fabled lights. 

I can understand the sighting of the NLs getting people excited. After all they’d paid loads of money for this trip – and its USP was the NLs. All the way from Bergen six days before the skies had been doggedly overcast and grey. Now an opportunity to see the stars and lights had materialised. 

We three did not move. The wine was just hitting the spot and after an arduous snowmobiling we needed our food. Everyone else left. Left their half-eaten food, half-drunk wine and assorted clothing, bags and body parts in their desire not to miss the NLs. As far as we’re aware very few came back before the tables were cleared. And the NLs – those I spoke to and had given up their dinner said it wasn’t that special. I sensibly, after eating my fill, went up to Deck 8 dressed for a cold night with a beer and “The Police” in the background. It was a while before I stirred having nodded off – but I was assured that the NLs didn’t make another appearance. 

Oh, I must mention the snowmobiling. Some of you who have been with me for a number of years will recall that my mate Peter and I did this in Svalbard in 2017. And it was scary. This time we had parked up at a seaside resort called Kjollefjord (N 070 57) and a very nice lady led us to a large shed where there were big bags with our names and cabin numbers on them. Inside was all the clothing we needed to survive the trauma of the up-coming activity.  

It’s extremely distracting watching people getting into unusual clothing. Strange boots and getting them on provided the most fun, as well as helmets. Onto the coach we were herded and then a 20-minute drive up in the hills where we were greeted by three guides and a large number of snowmobiles. (I’m afraid I haven’t any photos of all this because I couldn’t switch on the flash – it was completely dark by the time we arrived). After a rapid course in motorcycle maintenance we set off in three groups one behind the other at various speeds of dispatch. It was very exhilarating and not at all scary – except when I decided to go off piste for a nano second. 

After about an hour we found ourselves a short distance from the next port of call Mehamn (N 071 1.59) and our boat moored to welcome us intrepid explorers. We rapidly disrobed and a short coach journey later were on board heading for dinner at 8 pm when the strange crowd behaviour mentioned above took place. 

This morning we arrived at Kirkenes where we turn around and begin to head back down the Norwegian coast. For others this was the end of their trip – which now thinking about it may explain last night’s stampede.