Blade Runner

Well after the horse and Pope business things seemed to have gone quiet - except for a trigger happy Olympic hero. And Kate of course - showing off her bump and being compared to a manikin. Oh, then there's  Charles and his  £300,000 bullet proof Beemer. 

The Blue Tops (that's the newspapers that have more print than pics) are getting quite worried about young Fat Brits, as well as worried about educationally sub normal young Brits and still frightfully overpriced some parts of Britain.

It's getting really difficult for us middle class. We begin our dinner parties emoting about the plight of those unfortunates who can't get on the property ladder and berating  those unscrupulous landlords charging an arm and a leg for a room. We end the dinner parties, after a few bottles of Waitrose finest Australian CabSav, getting really excited about the house next door that sold for a cool £1 million and introducing our guests to our managing agent. What to do?

We're now extremely confused about immigrants. Bulgarian and Romanians apparently are straining at the leash  to rob our social security system senseless. And they sell dead horses! To the French! Who sell the meat as Beouf!

Then there's all those coloured people from the Indian sub - Continent. Fighting all the time, raping defenceless women, carrying out religious wars like there's no tomorrow. Yet, our Prime Minister, Dave the Toff, is welcoming the Indians to our universities. If you're middle-class, have a Western outlook and can pay - welcome. If you're a country yokel from the depths of the Punjab - forget it. We don't want you and your extended family. It makes economic sense.

Boy, oh boy, and what if you're a successful South African disabled Olympian. Euripides couldn't have scripted a better plot. Beautiful boy, through determination and  talent, overcomes great handicap and conquers the world. Is coupled with outrageously gorgeous siren. Has it all - success, fame, wealth and admiration of a nation.

Nemesis: Crime ridden, murder soaked, blood red South Africa the backdrop. Girl friend blasted to hell by Olympian who now stands sobbing in the dock.

So the first thing you do when you hear the toilet flush is fire three rounds through the bathroom door? "Darling is that you?" - those words didn't come to mind? You live in a gated community yet are constantly fearful of break ins? And what about that incident in 2009?

It looks black for young Oscar. South African courts don't have juries.