Bend It LIke Beckham

I despair! What is wrong with people? Why do they keep doing it? You'd think they'd have learn something by now: but no.

It's quite clear, to even me the constant optimist and gardener, that England's 1966 World Cup victory was a fluke. There must have been a fortuitous alignment of the stars or something, or possibly Alf Ramsey had made a blood sacrifice. One theory is that England's historic and flukish victory was divine compensation for the humiliation of the UK's Eurovision Song Contest entry that year - "A Man Without Love" by Kenneth McKellar.

Had the English had a vote on Scottish Independence in '66, it would have been a resounding "Yes".

You pay an Italian, who can't speak English and who can't manage a football team out of a paper bag $8 million a year to do what? Leave in a huff with a pay off of $3 million a few months before the European championships.

 He clearly was looking for an excuse to jump ship.

I suspect that Crappello knew that the acne acme of English football would fail disastrously this summer and he couldn't stand another humiliation. Some Italians appear to have a lot of pride if not much else.

Poor suffering England supporters will recall our disastrous World Cup in South Africa in 2010. It made the Brits defeat at Isandlwana seem like a triumphant victory! I suspect we can expect more glorious defeats this summer.

An appropriate warm up to the Olympics - which by the way is to turn most of East London into either a giant camping site or a massive no parking zone.

On top of that the "obvious choice" for the next manager of the English team is a man who you wouldn't buy a second hand car off. He may have been cleared of tax fiddling but he looks pretty dodgy to me. I mean can you trust a man whose son appears in those nauseating Thomas Cook ads!

It gets even better. This concatenation of mishaps and miscalculations started when Chelsea's and England's (now ex) captain  John Terry found himself arraigned before the majesty of the law. Except he won't appear before the beak until after the European Cup in the Summer.

Terry has not be convicted of anything, but since he's been charged it was felt that for various reasons it would be best that he didn't captain our national team whilst under this cloud. He was sacked as England captain.

The irony is the reason Terry's trial doesn't take place until after the European Cup is because Terry's team Chelsea (understandably) didn't want him to be unavailable for the rest of the season because he was in court and/or in the clink.

But frankly do we have to put ourselves through the humiliation of having an English Manager of whatever nationality? Most have been disastrous; one, Glen Hoddle, was mad and another , Don Revie, thought teams could play better in the Sands of Araby! I mean we'd do better with a dog; at least Pickles knew what a bloody championship cup looked like.

Oh God, and the Olympics!