Wake Up Little Susie

"Daddy mustn't fart". This was the last of twelve rules dreamt up by our neighbour's young daughter. Mum explained that her daughter was having five friends for a "sleep over" on the Saturday and little Miss Congeniality had devised a series of house rules.

To begin with no one was to go to bed before midnight and everyone had to stay awake until 4 am. Games were de rigor and the yuckier the food the better. I don't know what the other rules were but I suspect they were horrid.

The parents, the following day, wore smiles that denoted exhaustion, panic and relief. If the kids had not managed to stay awake past 2 am, the parents had not managed to close their eyes before 3 am.

They were smiling at 10 am the next morning because they had survived, and because the five darlings had, miraculously, kept down everything they'd stuffed into their innocent faces. Also Dad had refrained from farting, despite numerous requests and attempts to cajole him into letting rip.

They were smiling because a convoy of limousines was lined up outside to take away the angels with dirty faces.

They were smiling because, after about another three hours of clearing up, they could collapse in front of the telly.

Except, of course, the sleep over  heralded the start of the six weeks summer holiday.

God, how they must love their daughter.