Nothing Compares 2 U

 

I'm in love, I'm unashamedly head over heels in clover, running through fields of corn, blowing dandelions into the face of my amour. (I know I can trust you, you're a discreet lot. I don't think the missus would take too kindly to her place in my heart being usurped.)

It happened suddenly last night, at around 10:50 pm. I was lounging watching the telly. It was Saturday - which means for us intellectuals and persons of discernment and taste bugger all on the box.

That's not strictly true. There was a repeat of a "Dad's Army" episode. Is it just me or do these gems of humour just get better and better with repeated viewing?

Much as I adore Milton Jones and Micheal  McIntye, its gentle, lyrical humour fills me with  gurgling laughter and a sense of well being. Certainly, there is nothing on the box today, in the way of situation comedy, that gets anywhere near Captain Mainwaring and his mates.

I could have watched a repeat  of "Poirot" or  "Miss Marples", but it gets a bit of a  worry when I know the lines better than the actors. Not that that stops me repeatedly viewing repeats of repeats of "Rebus" and "Taggart".

What I love about these two Scottish police dramas is that handsomeness is not a criteria. The main characters in either cannot be said to have  been blest with looks - although my missus insists that  Rebus has eyes that would melt knicker elastic at ten paces. Personally, I always got a kick when Hawaii Five O's McGarrett barked "Book 'em Danno - Murder One".

Where was I? That's right: falling in love. Natalie Portman, it is she who has stolen my heart. Not the stuck up primadonna in "Black Swan". No it was her performance (let's be honest about it - her loveliness in "V for Vendetta"). It was on the box last night; I'd seen it before - the story of my life - but this time through new eyes. The look of love.

I could have sworn she was (posh) English, so good was her accent in the film, but I read she has dual American/Israeli nationality, with a psychology degree from Harvard. I can do intellectual Eastern European emigre with a brain the size of the planet, but I may not be able to quite pull off the the mega wealthy Russia oligarch. I'm sure she'll love me all the same - wurst and all.  

The thing is I really haven't gotten over Sinead O'Connor. Frankly nothing, in 1990, compared to her. I just loved the video. And especially her number one (haircut). Well, in "V for Vendetta", our Nat gets a similar bonce cut and she looks to me like dear Sinead. But it's Nat mole on  her cheek that melts me and, I may be completely wrong here,  in "V for...." I swear it's credited with a leading role - that's how much it features in the film.

So there you have it. The dangers of watching TV on a crap viewing night. Now where did I put that Dallas video?

Sue Ellen - is that you? I'm on my way.