Bread and Butter

There's an article in today's "Times", ruminating on whether, as a wife, you'd prefer to learn that your hubby had been paying a prostitute to "pleasure" him (a la Rooney), or that he'd been knocking off your sister in law (a la Giggs). I hadn't realised that Ryan Giggs had been grinding pubes with his brother's wife. I was shocked.

I know the Welsh are a proud race, genetically pure and all that,  but I think Ryan's got the wrong end of the dick stick if he believes screwing his brother's wife will keep the Welsh genes concentrated.

However, I've got to hand it to him. He's, what, 39, plays a mean  game of football, trains day in, day out and has the time and energy, not to mention a misguided sense of nationhood, to spread eagle his brother's missus in between stepping up to take a penalty. What a role model! And he's still got his own hair!

My exertions today were confined to the squash court. In the changing room, after the usual titanic struggle between the two giants of the Exit League, sponsored by Stannah Stairlifts and AgeUK, I happened to overhear a conversation between two equally aged players.

One had just returned from a lavish holiday and no doubt the squash game was a vain attempt to haul in his waistline. I didn't get all of the conversation but the snippets were revealing. "Yes, lovely location.....rooms sumptuous but  it was the food....Six, yes, six courses for dinner, a wine with each of course....No, we didn't mix, well you don't; we just walked and fished....There was a youngish couple, Chelsea types, bowled up in an Aston Martin.. completely at sea with the menu...Nine courses..bit over the top I thought... with wine...got rather loud towards the end of the evening....Two lovely, lovely evenings..you must try it..."

I didn't learn what the menu consisted of, but I'm sure none of the courses were as scrumptious and as straightforward as the following.

Potato Pizza

When I first heard of this I thought it must be a joke - Pizza Express doesn't do this so it can't be real. The following recipe creates a really stunning pizza. We served it to some friends the other Sunday - you'd have thought they'd been laid by Ryan Giggs, such was their pleasure.

Do I need to describe the pizza dough? Not really, except I find that if you mix the strong white flour with half "00" grade flour - the flour you use for making pasta - you get an incredibly light pizza base.

The dough is flour, olive oil, salt, yeast and water. The flour is mixed with the oil and salt in a food processor, and the yeast (fresh if you can get it) is placed  in tepid water with sugar (to feed it) to foam (after 10 minutes). This is then added to the flour/oil/salt mixture with extra tepid water added and mixed until the dough is stretchy and comes away from the sides of the processor bowl. The dough is put to one side to prove ( double in size).

After about 20 mins the dough is pliable. Slap it on a board, roll it out and place it on a oiled (olive) pizza dish.

While you're doing that your assistant has been peeling and thinly slicing a few potatoes - 2 or 3 middling sized ones.(Some people will put the sliced 'tats in water to remove much of the starch, I do as I find it gives the cooked 'tat a better texture). They'll have also thinly sliced a couple of cloves of garlic.

In a large bowl, mix the sliced potatoes with the garlic, adding a generous dollop of olive oil, salt and pepper and the essential ingredient - lots of fresh rosemary. I also add  a dash of  fresh oregano, thyme and hyssop.

Hopefully the dough will have risen in the pizza dish. Then layer the potato, garlic,oil and herb mixture, and for good measure sprinkle another couple of sliced garlic cloves, rosemary and salt and pepper and a dash of oil over the concoction.

Bake in a pre-heated oven (230 C ) for 15 -20 mins. Serve with a plain green salad and give two fingers to the tomato sodden confection that's stuffed down our throats on the High Street, TakeAways and in Supermarkets.   

Now if Mrs Giggs dished that up for hubby he wouldn't want to play away.