A Phenomenal Cat

Life is hell. I'm not the first person to state this, but I suspect there are few who have learnt this from a cat.

The cat in question is Ginja the Ninja, who not only hosts a talk show on SATCATNY, but also has a  self help column in the New  York Times (on line, subscription only edition) and New Shetland News (e-edition).

I have in the past referred to the said feline. He, I understand, has mentioned me, not unflattering, in his most recent book "My Likkle Bookie, Wookie"

You are all aghast. How can a cat be so philosophical?  A cat's a cat and that's where it's at - surely. What pussy has challenged Plato's Theory of Form. What feline mind has exposed the fallacy in Søren Kierkegaard's  philosophy of individualism? Yet this extremely ginger cat appears to have cracked it.

You see him, if you  are fortunate enough, sitting on a table ( is it a table, or something other) looking clear eyed into the distance. He moves, he purrs and he speaks " Biscuit", burying his head in a plate of "Tuna and Pilchard ( with added omega 3) cat biscuits. And all is explained! His eyes close and a cat smile effuses his face and one is as one with one.

Life becomes a twitch of a tail, a tremor of a whisker, a smile of a cat - something that is to be treasured, unexpected, undreamed. And there he is - motionless.

Yesterday he told me that mice are nice, and that rats on occasion wear hats.Rabbits he believed were created out of  hare droppings and dogs had no existence other than in the minds of men. When I asked about cats, he span around and chanted "In the beginning was Meow and Meow Meow'd and saw that it was good."

When I mentioned man, he hissed and showed me his arse. I took it he wasn't that pleased with us. And so began my lesson. The lesson of Cat.

And so it begins. Sit, Sit and Sit. Lick, Lick and once more Lick. Purr, Purr, Purr -thrice fold. And question nothing, accept, expect nothing, ask for nothing but unconditional love.Look into his eyes and he dazzles you with his ineffable otherness, his catness, his infinite distanceness.

That is hell. And he just purrs and I am so content.