Bat Out of Hell

 I was cleaning out the front room fire, putting the coal, logs and fire lighters into summer hibernation, when I stopped and stared. There was this "something" hanging at the back of the fire. Our living room is quite dark, and cool, even in mid summer and being at the back of the fire the "something" was hard to make out. I muttered to myself "It's a "bat" a tiny bat : must be a pipistrelle"  - the only bat whose name I know.

I was sure I could see it hanging off the grate over the mouth of the chimney, but it wasn't moving. I looked closer and very timidly poked it with my fingers. It fell into the fireplace to expose itself as a tea-bag.

One the missus had thrown into the fire while watching the TV the last time we had a roaring fire. I was, I suspect, slightly disappointed although I was beginning to revise my speculation just before I gave the "smallest UK bat" a investigating prod. As far as I'm aware one is not required to inform the local authority about an infestation of tea bags.

Talking about the telly - did you see last night's "Midsummer Murders". The new series appears to have gone through a metamorphosis just as extreme as "Dr Who".

Gone is the cuddly, calorie absorbing Barnaby with a bemused middle aged wife chained to the food processor. There's little left of the old self mockery or  the interminable scene setting before the avalanche of corpses which disconcertingly bung up the narrow country lanes and twee cottages.  

Now we're confronted by an intellectual Barnaby who treats his luckless Sergeant Ben Jones as the country bumpkin we always knew he was. No wonder Cully never returned Ben's amorous advances.  And the new Mrs Barnaby, the new head teacher at Causton Comprehensive (a nod to modernity), hot or what!  No kids just Lucky, the dog from the insurance company ad (note to admen - I remember the dog not the company).

Last night's episode would have done a revenge tragedian proud. I could have sworn I saw John Webster in the script credits. Apparently random killings of the most vile nature were inflicted on the quiet village of  Great Worthy. I can't remember the last time I saw a dismembered body so graphically shown on TV - the ultimate "bit part".

What with a graduate Chief Inspector, a script that did bear some likeness to real conversation and enough spooky characters to populate a remake of "Nightmare on Elm Street" - wasn't the garage owner and his wife weird not to mention their son - last night's episode was a treat. What about the Peeping Landlord - who is redeemed (how Jacobean) in the end by alerting the police to a possible gory incident in the bathroom. Not forgetting the bent ex policeman turned landlord and his ex madam wife with a nice line in bridal wear.

There were the usual rash of false leads (and Pam Ferris), and the obvious suspects who you knew could be dismissed 'cause they were so obvious. As well as the stock pub interior scenes with stock morose, drunk or imbecilic regulars; and of course the flirty land lady. Except in this case one suspects she was doing it to drum up business - and not the licensed sort.  


A perfectly delightful night's viewing. And there's "The Archers" Gardeners' Question Time on Sunday. What blessed times we live in!